Man-gina syndrome!

Man-gina syndrome: an association between man and vagina. Refers to a man who is controlled by a woman. A man who does anything to pleased a woman even if is denigrating. Loosing his dignity to make a woman happy.  Cleans, cooks, pays the bills and it's constantly verbally abused.  Usually found in young men with very little to no experience. Older men who are lonely and have lack of confidence.

The term man-gina was not my ideal, I copied from a co-worker. I adopted into my everyday vocabulary because I love it.

Now girls, we all want a man that is wiling to do anything to makes us happy, but everything that is over done, is not good. In order to have a healthy relationship there must be respect. When a woman is dating a man-gina, there is very little respect because she abuses him. I don't agree with abusive relationships. 

Here comes the problem when the woman is done using the man or he finally realizes that he is being use, he turns emotionally bankrupt. He turns bitter and into a total ass, so that man that once was a taker now is a faker and a player.

I know a couple, who disturbed me each time I see them. She is the ultimate gold-digger and he the extreme man-gina. He has his own company that co-manages with her. She controls the money he uses, from the child support that he gives his kids to the money he uses to buy a soda. On the other hand she is a big spender always wearing Gucci and Prada. She has her own children from a previous marriage who are the most disrespectful kids I seen. Loud, obnoxious and demanding. He puts up with that, and all the demands she has. She always tells him, that he can't do better than her. Trust me she is not all that. Often he says that he is tired and he is going to leave her. I can guarantee you that if he meets another woman who smile at him and shows him true affection he will leave her on a heart beat. The same thing if she finds a bigger fish to fry she will leave him to his own misery. I hate when I have to listen a woman brag about her man-gina.

Another example is that boyfriend who gives his girlfriend everything she wants. Buys her this, take her there,moves her into his apartment. Give, give, give and receives very little. She rather hang with her girlfriends, go to sleep before him that way no sex. She will constantly complaint of everything going on in the relationship. Will only appreciate the big things, ignore the little ones. This means she will pay more attention to the $300 meal, versus the home cooked one. Things must be when she says, and how she says it. She is incapable of making him a meal, doing something out the blue to make him happy. Totally a selfish, manipulative woman. To all this the man is happy because she is happy. To him his only job is to pleased her. But deep inside he is not because, he is often putting aside what he likes or wants for her.

Man! Stop putting up with girls crap! It sounds bad coming from me but is a relationship. Relationships= compromise and respect. Is not okay to let someone run all over you. Whatever someone is not willing to do another will do. The love and attention she wont give him someone else will do it and better.

The man-gina syndrome is annoying. One because they are usually man with so much love to give who can make any woman happy. Two because later they become emotionally bankrupt. Three they are usually my friends, and then I just get mad. Usually they are feeling sorry for themselves, and get all pathetic.

I personally don't find a man-gina attractive, I need a man who has a voice, persona and confidence. Yes, I want him to make me happy and go out of his way once in a while. But I don't want to walk all over him. It's no fun. Is okay to hear no, and not to always have it my way, it creates a balance. Let the girl pull her weight too.
#respect #saynotoabuse #man-gina

Why have medium, when you can have a large?

Conformity can be one of the most dangerous stages of life. When you get comfortable, you settle. Settling is great at times but settling for less is a major crime. Not really a crime but it should be. In life we should all have set goals, one bigger than other. Being happy and being comfortable usually gets mix up. But they are very different. When you are comfortable you are lazy. Once lazy you feel like there is no more to look for and that you are fine. Well wake up call, YOU ARE NOT!!!!!

When it comes to relationship, the most natural thing is to settle when you both realize that you want to be with each other. But there is the certain occasion that you settle because, you don't want to look for more.

Today I discussing this topic. More commonly seen in girls. Girls who have low self-esteem and always think that they deserve less than what they have. NO girls! You have the power and control to get whatever you want. But you must know what you want in order to be with that other half that you think is your Mr.Right now.

One no woman is ugly, she is just not fixed well. Girls, today is so easy and inexpensive to look good. Two your demeanor says so much of you. A man truly appreciates a woman who has character, who has confidence, and controls her own persona. A real man, will really appreciate this.

Women often say I want this, I want that, but choose other instead.   Girls become desperate.  When you are desperate you take the best looking option or the only option at the moment.  Most likely, is not right.  Then you look back and think what did I do?

I have the perfect example to give you, almost all of us know that couple that has been together for many years, they always look great together but he won't buy the ring. Next thing you know they break up and 3 months later he marries another girl and calls her his soul-mate. Here the fault is all on the ex- girlfriend the one who gave him her best times. Once she felt they were growing old and a wedding date was not set, she choose to settle and stay quiet. I bet she told her self is okay, I know he loves me why sign a piece of paper. With a piece of paper you get benefits "lol" yes that big house or dream condo and the Mrs.Smith not "oh that't just his girl". Know your own boundaries! And once again know what you want. Settling is only fine it feels right to you. Ambition is not a bad thing as long as if is for your own good and it is going to help you better. 

I know a girl who for some reason feels that she always needs to be in a relationship.  From one breakup to the other. As soon as she breaks up with a guys she goes out hunting for a new one.  She is a gorgeous, well educated woman.  Her future looks pretty bright but her man choice, fogs it.  Marilyn Monroe said once a girl does not need anyone who does not need her and that is so true.  Being with a man just to say I have a man does not make you better. Knowing that you have a man that loves you unconditionally and goes out of his way to prove it to you, makes you better.  It makes you better because, you are feeling better.  Actions speak louder than words. 

Another example, is that girl, who is the only one holding down the relationship.  That girl that is busting her behind working to pay ALL the bills and then comes this guy thinking is he the best thing on earth just taking advantage of her.  Why do women allowed men to use them.  I know a couple in which the guy has been unemployed for about 2 years.  The girl has 2 jobs and he sits home all day playing video games.  Oh, and they have 4 small children. The money she makes is barely enough to pay the bills and put food on the table.  What is wrong with this picture? A lot.  I was raised to believe that a man will always do his best to provide for his family.  I understand that a man can stay  home to be a stay home dad.  A stay home dad cooks, cleans, and takes care of his kids, not just sit in front of a TV all day.  I find it hard to understand.  I have a close friend who her and her husband are both stay home parents.  They found a way to work from home, both doing different things.  It brings money and it lets them spend time with their baby. Excuses are the tools of the incompetent. If there is a want, there is a way.    

My last example of why having a medium when you can have a large, is the girl who allows a man to use her just for sex. Girls, please stop playing the barbie game.  Have standards if a man  is only calling you and using you when he is horny you are settling for less.  I talked to girls who have told me " well at least when he is horny is me who he calls".  I personally don't understand the friends with benefits thing, empty sex is so whack to me. But that is my opinion.  I respect, to each it's own.  If that is the case set the rules and don't fall head over hills over the guy.  Once you guys have established is only casual don't star calling him, texting him, showing up to places you know he can be found at, and if you see him with another girl is not your place to say anything and it goes vice-versa.  

Why have a medium, when you can have a large does not only apply to relationships.  It also applies to life.  If you don't like your job, or you feel that there is no room for improvement move on.  If you don't like you house move.  If you don't like your personal appearance, change it.  If you don't like the adult you have become find a way to embrace it.  Change is good! 

ps. love you, respect you above all!

xoxo

Andie

Emotionally bankrupt!

What is emotionally bankrupt?

Emotionally bankrupt applies to someone who has been hurt one or more times emotionally. The disappointment was such an emotional disaster that the person decides build up a wall to protect their feelings. By doing this, the person will push away new loves, refrain from showing much emotions. And the moment that he/she feels that is catching feelings will automatically reject that new person. An emotionally bankrupt person is extremely cheap with the feelings. Just the though of a relationship makes them ill.

Symptoms in a male: sleeps with many women, promises much delivers little. Has no sense of commitment and anything that involves attachments horrifies him. Makes up excuses to why he can't be involved. Usually wants a girl to be around but will not make it his girl.

Symptoms in female: will also sleep around. Possibly consider or will become a lesbian. Compare every men to the one who broke her heart. Settle for a mediocre man. And will refer and treat every man as a dog.

I have been hurt a couple times, in past relationship. I have had bitter taste left, but I refuse to judge new relationships with old ones. I think that it will be unfair to me and that new someone. So what if I get hurt or disappointed. Just move to the next one wiser and stronger.

I have dated two emotionally bankrupt men. Bob was the first, a handsome man. Where ever we went girls will go crazy for him. Not only was he handsome but he was really charming, smart and always made me laugh. But when we first met, he told me about an ex-girlfriend that broke his heart and that he will never love again. This right here should had been my "q" to say ok bye. But in my head I was determine to change his mind. He was the total bring to home guy and he was Dominican my parents would had loved him. Bob was hang on dwelling on his ex and making sure that he didn't catch any feelings for me that, I was basically in a relationship alone. The only time I felt affection was under the sheets. Why, would I do that to my self? Things were always when he wanted, his way or no way. Never held my hand in public. I was settling for less indeed. And finally I realized that he was not for me. People only change, if they want. I always gave him my 100% and he gave me his 15%.

Second guy was worst because, I really liked him. Super nerdy looking guy, with a bright mind. My sorority sisters convinced me to not judge a book by it's cover. And I gave it a chance. His looks were not all that but after our first date he had me wrapped around his finger. At first it was great, almost everything I could ask in a man. A true gentlemen, great sense of humor, smart, a foodie, blah blah, but no room for someone like me. My dad has always said to me "you are my princess, whatever man you are with you must be his queen". One day he will treat me as if I was on top of the world, and the only person that matter was me and a day later was as if he didn't know me. He would really just stop talking to me, out of no where and truly will make me feel like crap! The first time it happen I blame me because I was unsure if I did something. So I got him to star talking to me again. Things were going great right before the summer hit, and we made plans to take a mini-vacation to Mexico. Next week comes and he completely stops talking to me a week later, he goes to Mexico alone. I felted a huge slap on the face without the hand. Oh boy! I drank tequila and listen to Adele. Said to myself no more! Bullshit, I am a woman. So we talked and here we go again. Once again things were going great, gave me the best birthday I could ask for. And then once again he completely pulled away from me. This time I really learned my lesson and said no more. Each time we were doing great he just abandon me without a saying. This man has nothing to give me emotionally. He is so afraid to be hurt, to get close enough to me and develop feelings that he rather push me away every time things were great. So I finally said no more I'm moving on and finding something new. I deserve better. I really got tired of his emotional roller-coaster.

Don't give your 100% to receive a 10% is not worth it. There is no reason to waste your time believing that you can change someone. Yes, at times we want to prove ourselves that we can change someone. Big error in order for someone to change they need to want the change. And if they really want to change then let them show you with actions not words. An emotionally bankrupt person carries such a strong will on not giving or showing love that makes them somewhat bitter. That high up wall they use to block their emotions does not allow them to be happy. At my young age I have learned to, live it, learned it and move on. To dwell in possibilities. If I star comparing old relationships with new ones I will never be truly happy. Let go of the bad old memories, remember the good, create new ones. If you remember the bad is to not let history repeat. Do not take the short-end of the stick. Do not expend time and energy on someone who won't do the same for you.

#movefoward #noregrets #love #live

The Beauty of being a woman.

To me being a woman is one of the best gifts god has blessed me with. If I was to be born again I will love to be a woman again. Before I proceed I must give you a definition.
RATCHETT:
A madam of the nasty ghetto species, dressed in an ensemble of cheetah print leggings and a leotard, not to mention the thong 4 sizes too small beneath these items. On top of her head is generally perched a purple weave, often resembling shredded plastic. A lady of this sort may be caught sipping a beverage called Baby Drank, or 4loko mixed with rufies......... AKA Baby Drank. Ratchets are most commonly known for their slurring of words due to the Baby Drank. Most Ratches are commonly found dancing sloppily on poles, most commonly knocking them over due to their immense weight. A Ratchet is also commonly found on the arm of a big black man smoking a cheap cigar.

Ratchet babies are a rare breed of child raised but the most ratchety ratchets. Such a creature drinks a mixture of Baby Drank and Heroin for nutrients. This habit is started from birth to build up tolerance for the (short) life ahead of him/her. A ratchet laugh is usually high pictched, sometimes to a frequency most people over 40 cannot hear.(according to urbandectionary.com)

I usually go to Walmart once a month because is very convenient. But every time I go in, my eyes are extremely horrified by the amount of rachetness, I have to witness. Some of these women look as if they just rolled out of bed, eye buggers in and you can still see the dry saliva on the side of the cheek and wearing a shower cap on the head. Being a woman is so great, why must this kind of women make it a point to ruing it. Girls, you attract exactly what you want, I will never get tired of saying that.

Get it together! If your hair is wrap, unwrap it. Fix your hair!!! As a Dominican woman I am very aware that your hair is one of your must precious physical assets. Dominican hair stylist are known to be excellent because, we love our hair. If you choose to use fake hair try to use one that looks good. Spend a bit more and buy one that does not look plastic. If not it looks like the Barbies pony, ponytail. Also, when you choose the color, if you are over 21 stop wearing obnoxious colors. No big reds, blues, orange,greens!!! If you have nappy hair, perm it. One thing that really bugs me is when girls think they are chemist, and they can create their own hair colors. They decided to colored their own hair and ends up looking five different colors. Save the money and go to a professionals. Also please re-touch your hair roots on time. Do not wait when is 10 inches too long.

Your clothing, girls sleepwear is what it sounds like, you wear it to sleep. Why are girls walking out of the house in their sleepwear? Stop! First that is a sign of poor hygiene. Looks as if you never shower or brushed your teeth before leaving the house. Dress according to your body and age. If you are somewhat chubby, or just too curvy then do not edress with extremely tight. Dress in plus size, not petite. Go to the plus stores. If you are not longer a teen then do not dress like one. I promise you is not hard. I find it so disturbing at times when I am in the junior section of a store and I find a woman that looks like my grandma. Forever 21, does not really mean that you are 50 and you can buy clothes from there and be 21. The way you dress has so much to say about.

Time to unwind and relax, mani and pedi. For me is hard to keep up with a good manicure because, I work in a kitchen. But I still get a mani even if is with clear nail polish. Men enjoy looking and touching a pretty hands. I strongly dislike the super long fake nails, with the crazy designs. Keep it classy, please. Every time I see women with those long nails I feel like asking them, if they are able to wipe their behinds without getting dirty. If your toes are not pretty, do not wear them out. It's plain and simple. Spend $30.00 on a mani-pedi is worth it.

Make-up should be wear the right way. Do not over do it or under do it. Do not wear a extremely loud make up at 9am. Youtube make up tutorials or go to Macys and have someone doll you up and learn.

Back to the beauty of being a woman. To me feeling feminine, is a wonderful feeling. There are times that I will wake up early, to run errands. I will wear a cute dress with nice flats or sandals, hair done and a bit of makeup. At times just to go to the supermarket I will put on jeans, t-shirt and wedges/heels. My mom always says to me you never know, who you will meet or see when you walk out of the house. My mother is a great example for me to follow. On Sunday mornings, she will get up early go get her hair done, come back home. My mom will be dressed up, make up on, and making our Sunday meal. My mother needs no good reason to look good, she says is a woman's job to look good. Plus men truly appreciate a woman who takes good care of her self.

My chef's uniform does me no justice, it makes me look like a penguin with no shape. Makeup is not really allowed and your hair has to be pickup. But there is no way I will let my feminine side go. I wear very little makeup. My lipgloss is my best-friend. Even with the none-attractive chef uniform, I will still look good.

I respect sexual preference, but why dress like a man? You are a woman embrace it! Live to it. No offense, but why try so hard to be a man? If I was to ever be a lesbian I will want to date a hot girl. I don't see the point of having an imitation when you can have the real thing. ;-)

In conclusion, love yourself. Embrace your beauty. Be a woman, is an amazing gift.

#bepretty #love #norachetness

Mr. Right! What makes him so right?

I love to listen to women speak about Mr. Right. To me the only Mr.right I know is Mr. Right now. What makes a men Mr.Right? Looks, money, social status, kindness, lust, demeanor?

I say "Mr. Right now" just because to me, the whole idea of it is an illusion. Most women spend too much time and energy looking for their dream man. Although I don't discard the idea of finding him exciting and romantic, there is no such thing as the perfect man. Nothing is perfect!

I think that when wanting to attract the man you desire you must be very clear to what you want. Because, things will only be right if you feel that they are right. For example, I will use me. I will like a man who is loving, caring, super romantic but not obsessive, to be financially stable ( not expecting him to pay my bills, I got them) open to learning new things, must love food, respect me, a true gentlemen, smart, good breath, impeccable hygiene, charming and has realistic life goals. Physical appearance matters but very little. I am not looking for Brad Pitt, ( I have a few requirements) but just someone kissable lol. That's the kind of man I want. If you think that I am asking for too much? Wrong that is just a short description. When someone says they don't have a type, is bullsh*t, everyone does. Whether is personality or looks we all do.

As I said before, it is only right if is right to you. Men can somewhat be related to a potty training, you must tell the child were is acceptable to pop and where is unacceptable. Well, you tell a man what is acceptable and what is not. Let's say that if he has a habit of lateness. You must stop him from the beginning, making it unacceptable. I can use me again as an example, ones a guy asked me out on a date and I chose to meet him at a nearby restaurant, he was late over an hour. While I waited for him I order an appetizer, an entree and 3 drinks. I finally order my meal to go finished my last drink, got up and left. As I was walking out of the restaurant, I saw the individual pulling in. I completely ignore him and left. He didn't have a valuable reason for his lateness. I feel that he abused my time and underestimated me. This man kept calling me and apologizing for his lateness. I said to him that his lateness was not acceptable, that I no longer had any intentions of seeing him. For some reason he did not give up without putting up a fight. Over a month after  I gave him another chance and he wasn't as late.  He was 5 minutes late, (I made him wait 10.  The third time he was unbelieving early, so early that he had to wait for me. You must always put your foot down from the very beginning. If you don't like something do not allow it, point blank! And if he does not agree then move to the next. Whatever someone is not willing to do another will do better. Another scenario can be if you meet a guy he is charming, interesting and seems to be your perfect match but he smokes. You strongly dislike smoke and it makes you somewhat ill. Well it's easy tell him. If he really likes you he will definitely do everything in his power to stop smoking around you, to even stopping for good. But is within you to make it happen.

Now be realistic with things that you want him to change. By being realistic you can obtain a healthier relationship. Don't ask him or expect him to give up everything just for you. If he always expend Thursday nights with the boys watching a football or just at the bar let him, unless he is spending his whole paycheck or completely neglecting you. Give him his space! Also, appreciate the little and the big. Never settle for less but be grateful. For example, if he usually buys you expensive flower arrangements but one day walks in with  one flower that he took from the neighbors garden just be happy about it. Do not star nagging about the fact that he didn't spend $$$ on flowers. Do not put a price on his ways to show affection towards you.

As I mention before you attract in a man what you want. Do not expect and man to take you serious if he meets you at a bar and you sleep with him the same night. Have standards! And yes there is the exception to the rule but try to always aimed for the rule not the exception it will save you tears and deception.

Moral of the story Mr. Right is what you make of it. In life we have choices and a woman has many. Do not dwell on why he is not calling you. Just move on because, if it was meant to be, then let him come to you. Play your cards right and you will meet Mr. Right. #love #mr.right #accomplished

XOXO

Andie

Happiness! What makes you happy?

I strongly believe that happiness is a state of mind. It is hard to maintain at times due to some challenges but is up to you to challenge your challenges to keep happiness. Life is not perfect, but many times is what you make of it. Walking around life being a pessimist and complaining about how you have no luck. Will automatically make you and unhappy person. The law of attraction is very real and simple people, you attract in life what you make of it. If you are to wake up in the morning energetic, in a great mood most likely you will have a wonderful day. Now if you wake up in a poor mood 9 out 10 I can almost guarantee you, your day will be crappy.

Different things make each individual truly happy. If anyone ever has doubts of what makes them happy then, I have a simple exercise for them. Find a quiet peaceful place, or somewhere were you feel comfortable and are able to clear your mind. Write a list of things that make you happy and then one of what makes you not so happy. Try to write at lease one sentence next to each just to know exactly why it cause you a certain effect. After you have done this, then try to practice the more positive part of your list. At first it won't be easy, but try it. And see if it cause you an effect.

I think that in life we must embrace the good and the not so good. Happiness usually comes in small pieces therefore enjoy it while it last. Mom always told me that you must experience unhappiness in order to appreciate happiness. Think about it and it will make sense.

What makes me happy?This might be funny but food makes me happy. Going to restaurant, cooking at home alone or with friends. Yes food can get my mind away from other things. Watching inspirational movies, girls night out!!! Yay. The voice of my mom over the phone in the morning, helping out someone, being able to influence someone in a positive way. Also, the happiness of the people around me, even if I am going through a time if hardship and I see my close ones having a moment of joy I am happy. Energies transmit, and someones's happiness or good mood can rub off on you, the same thing if is negative. Try to surround yourself with positive people, avoid negativity. Avoid pessimist people. Like I said life is what you make for it, don't dwell on your mistakes because they are learning experience. Learned from them, and don't make them again. Find what makes you happy, smile, live, enjoy every moment to the max, love and be grateful. #achivehappiness

Are you alonely, because you are alone?

Just because you are alone, it does not mean you are lonely. I personally believe that you must learned to enjoy your own company, before you enjoy others. I am not saying to be alone at all times, but once in a while a moment to yourself is great. For example, relax watched a movie, read a book, go for a run, workout. There are many things that one can do alone and learned to enjoy it without the need to have someone next to you.

I am writing about this because I have a friend who I will called Jerry. Jerry can't stand to be alone, he is constantly seeking to find someone to spend time with him. He needs to always have plans to be with someone. He gets very intense and desperate to be with people. Why? I wonder why is Jerry so terrified of being alone? Insecurities. The fear of being alone terrifies him because he is an insecure man. He often says " I am a people's person, so I don't like to be alone". Bullshit,sorry! You are an insecure man. And the fear of being alone than later transfer to suffocating the people around you, and/or your loved one. Recently, Jerry and his girlfriend broke up. They were together for 3 months, lived together for 2, and now that she is gone he feels like a fish with no water. I met Jerry at work. After his girl left him he is constantly asking me to hangout.  Always expressing how much he wants a new girlfriend because he is the perfect boyfriend.  I don't know exactly why his relationship failed but here is a clue, he gave her no space.  See here is the problem, since Jerry does not know how to be alone, I can guarantee you he always wanted to be with her and eventually she got fed up and said NO MORE!  Being alone is NOT a sign of isolation, depression or sadness, is just time to relax, mediate find the voice inside of you.  For so long I wanted to star a blog and Jerry was the perfect motive.  Making my alone time useful makes me happy, being able to accomplish things without the need of having someone at my side. #accomplished